"MIB" Can Equal Championship

With over half of the Fantasy Football season over many owners are looking for last minute trades and waiver pickups to solidify their playoff run. What’s newly grown this year is the bribing of players and coaches to worry about stats rather than the best interest of the team from the start of the season. What is even more surprising is the low price some of these players are taking.
The Steel Pit, a minor team out of the yahoo fantasy football site owned by Dick Peabody, has claimed to be solely responsible for Cedric Benson’s out of nowhere season with the Bengals. Peabody promised Benson not only a copy of the highly anticipated blue-ray release of Weird Al Yankovic's 80's hit UHF but on completion of a 2000 yd season a mint condition Pee Wee's Playhouse action set all in its original packaging. When Benson was asked about these bribes he refused to respond and went back to his poorly made replica of Castle Greyskull wearing no shirt and swinging around what looked like a lock of Chris Henry's hair.
Disturbed is an understatement of how I felt after leaving but this was nothing compared to the claim from mega Fantasy owner Dirk Lubinski. Lubinski currently owns 17 Fantasy Teams including 3 time champion TD Terrors from the infamous Perky Patty league run out of Scranton, OH. Lubinski claims he has had a huge impact on the play of once top tier TE Jason Witten and his slow start. "The team who owns Witten is my biggest competitor so I had to make a move." And a move he did with the agreement from Witten not to go into double-digit fantasy points all year if Lubinski agreed to teach him to play the Tambourine. It seems Witten is a huge Davy Jones fan and pretends he is part of the Monkees anytime he has the chance. What’s more odd is that he pretends that he is a female version hence the secrecy of the lessons as Jason prefers to be "in character" at each one.
Whatever you midseason moves may be you could be more effective with a simple offer of music lessons or 80's memorabilia!