Browns offer entire team as new Flex Player

With the pathetic play of the entire Cleveland Browns team the ownership has thought outside of the box to get more fantasy ownership. The team is now offering the entire offense as a single flex player for participating leagues. With the ever-changing QB situation, RB by committee and unpronounceable receivers the team is moving to a bold new scheme.
"We understand that Fantasy interest is a huge revenue generating piece to our organization and have been disappointed with the highest owned player on our team being the kicker." Owner Randy Lerner Said in a statement Monday. "We are generating team offense so low that if you ad our entire team up it barely reaches double digits, with this new plan we hope to be a viable Flex player option."
The downside of this move would be the possibility that many fantasy owners will still choose a second tier WR or backup RB instead of this newly form "Brown Spot" as locals are calling it.
One Fantasy owner was overheard saying how he couldn't decide on either the new Browns conglomerate or a player on the bye. "At least I can't get negative" he was overheard as saying.
There are mixed reviews from the team. Jamal Lewis, Once a fantasy god, even as recently as last seasons surprising 200+ yard game has reservations about the new collaboration. "I may be owned in fewer than 20% of leagues but add in interceptions, fumbles, and sacks I fear my value will be even less meshed together with this mess."
Steve Heiden on the other hand is super excited. “I can actually be more than an ultra deep fantasy desperation bye week replacement. I always knew this day would come!”
It is yet to be seen how fantasy owners will react to this new experiment but you will know an owner when you see someone at the sports bar actually rooting for the Browns.

Cutler confused on Point System, Sugar levels could be the culprit.

In the first Thursday night game of the season Jay Cutler shocked his fantasy owners by hitting the usually great 300 mark while throwing a record 5 interceptions in the process.
"It was by the grace of God" Cutler was quoting saying after the game obviously not understanding his performance was anything other than glorious.
He was seen throwing back what he thought was Gatorade during the game but after the fact was found to be Greg Olsen's private stash of rainbow punch kool-aid.
Several years prior Cutler was diagnosed with Diabetes and since has seen a growth in energy, strength, and stats. Little did his fantasy owners know that brain function was also involved.
"Any normal diabetic would probably gone into shock but Jay seemed to keep going with the majority of affects happening to his brain function", one of the team doctors was quoted as saying. The team quickly swooped Jay into the tunnel to start administering insulin as soon as they could.
"We noticed somthing wrong not after the interceptions but when Jay was commenting on how pretty Michelle Tafoya was looking. (Tafoya is widely assumed to be a man or at least half and half)
5 interceptions no matter how you score it will be a not so great start for any owner who started him but at least we can take relief in the prospect of having a Tafoya, Cutler kissing moment in the near future.

"MIB" Can Equal Championship

With over half of the Fantasy Football season over many owners are looking for last minute trades and waiver pickups to solidify their playoff run. What’s newly grown this year is the bribing of players and coaches to worry about stats rather than the best interest of the team from the start of the season. What is even more surprising is the low price some of these players are taking.
The Steel Pit, a minor team out of the yahoo fantasy football site owned by Dick Peabody, has claimed to be solely responsible for Cedric Benson’s out of nowhere season with the Bengals. Peabody promised Benson not only a copy of the highly anticipated blue-ray release of Weird Al Yankovic's 80's hit UHF but on completion of a 2000 yd season a mint condition Pee Wee's Playhouse action set all in its original packaging. When Benson was asked about these bribes he refused to respond and went back to his poorly made replica of Castle Greyskull wearing no shirt and swinging around what looked like a lock of Chris Henry's hair.
Disturbed is an understatement of how I felt after leaving but this was nothing compared to the claim from mega Fantasy owner Dirk Lubinski. Lubinski currently owns 17 Fantasy Teams including 3 time champion TD Terrors from the infamous Perky Patty league run out of Scranton, OH. Lubinski claims he has had a huge impact on the play of once top tier TE Jason Witten and his slow start. "The team who owns Witten is my biggest competitor so I had to make a move." And a move he did with the agreement from Witten not to go into double-digit fantasy points all year if Lubinski agreed to teach him to play the Tambourine. It seems Witten is a huge Davy Jones fan and pretends he is part of the Monkees anytime he has the chance. What’s more odd is that he pretends that he is a female version hence the secrecy of the lessons as Jason prefers to be "in character" at each one.
Whatever you midseason moves may be you could be more effective with a simple offer of music lessons or 80's memorabilia!