In the first Thursday night game of the season Jay Cutler shocked his fantasy owners by hitting the usually great 300 mark while throwing a record 5 interceptions in the process. "It was by the grace of God" Cutler was quoting saying after the game obviously not understanding his performance was anything other than glorious.
He was seen throwing back what he thought was Gatorade during the game but after the fact was found to be Greg Olsen's private stash of rainbow punch kool-aid.
Several years prior Cutler was diagnosed with Diabetes and since has seen a growth in energy, strength, and stats. Little did his fantasy owners know that brain function was also involved.
"Any normal diabetic would probably gone into shock but Jay seemed to keep going with the majority of affects happening to his brain function", one of the team doctors was quoted as saying. The team quickly swooped Jay into the tunnel to start administering insulin as soon as they could.
"We noticed somthing wrong not after the interceptions but when Jay was commenting on how pretty Michelle Tafoya was looking. (Tafoya is widely assumed to be a man or at least half and half)
5 interceptions no matter how you score it will be a not so great start for any owner who started him but at least we can take relief in the prospect of having a Tafoya, Cutler kissing moment in the near future.
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